Monday, October 25, 2010

Underpowered, 2: Get My Picture On The....Is America's Funniest Home Videos even on still?

Scene: The Wong's basement rec room, somewhere in a nice neighborhood of Philadelphia. Present: The Young Liberty Legion. And no-one else, thank God. At least the TV's a big screen.

Captain Super-Ultra [aka Billy Washington]: " You're right, Billy. That is us. You think Bulldozer sent in the tape?"
Wolverine Boy [Billy Tatum]: "That's not a camera he's holding. It's you. I mean, there's a lot of blood, but you can tell."
Snakes On A Plane [Jenny Wong]: "Tell me about it. Should I be diluting this Oxycute stuff? Why is the shag turning white?"
Billy Washington: "He could have a remote camera. You know, take pictures and sell them to Rolling Stone or something."
Amazing Spleen [Brad Neilson]: "What's a Rolling Stone? And can I come in yet?" 
Jenny: "Maybe wait a minute more. And it's a magazine. There's a song about it on the music loop at work. Nazis want to take some redneck's picture for their mother. Or something. It's from the war."
Twilight [Mistress Pen-- You know, I give up. Anita Guzman.]:  "Yeah. That's it. Exactly. The Vietnam War II, with the Asian Nazis. But, Bulldozer, operate a remote camera? And the pictures would be all out of focus. It's a retarded idea. Which I ...never mind. Bulldozer's remote camera it is."  
Billy Washington: "Hey, you're talking about the man who stopped the fight to show me how to box!"
Billy Tatum: "Dude, the chess club can box better than you. At least now that you're not in it anymore."
Jenny: "Can we focus on the important stuff, like how I totally look fat in that clip?"
Nita: "No. You. Don't. A gallon of Ben&Jerry's couldn't make you look fat. I'd be a lot more worried about the way your costume hikes up when you pass out."
Snakes On A Plane: "You think?" That's not exactly the tone of someone happily receiving useful fashion-related information, either.
Brad: "I'm going to walk around the block, okay?"

This is the second in a series of fan fictions set in the Champions Universe (a property of the Cryptic Games Studio licensed to DOJ, Inc. for the pen-and-paper Hero Games RPG line). It features the adventures of the teenaged descendants of Philadelphia's superheroic defenders of the "Gold" and "Silver" Age, the Liberty Legion. The new Liberty Legion has been operating for several years now as a mostly self-described auxiliary of Philadelphia's real superteam, the Liberty League. 

Most of these members, however, are new. And might possibly have chosen their code names under the influence. Except for Jenny Wong, who doesn't do that kind of thing. (If you're wondering, "Snakes on a Plane" is supposed to be "slinky." Jenny would like to be slinky. She'd be good at it, if she just knew how.) Twilight's real name is Anita Guzman, but she's currently not using her "Muggle name." Our narrator is trying to respect that choice. Or be snotty. Whichever.

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