Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Keeping it Agamogenetic

Gun Girl [Jaime Neilsen]: "So at least headshots work."
Tri-Del [Rebecca Hirsch]: "Gross! The bits break off! Leave me alone! The Harajuku girl is over there!"
Avenging Daughter [May Wong]: "Chinese! Chinese, tall, and tasteful, clone-girl!" [May was 5'9 1/2", and had decided that she would grow just another half an inch, so that she would be exactly halfway between her brothers and her sister. She didn't mind being tall. In fact, she loved the way her legs looked in her skates. And if it didn't work out that way, if she ended up 6'4", like her brothers, she wouldn't drag it out and get all Gothy about it like some.]
Jaime: "And speaking of gross bits, we don't know how these zombies spread, so try not to, Jeez, punch their brains out all over your sharpshooting friends?"
Becky: "Eh. Ever watched a movie? The way Zombism spreads is this: if you're not the hero, you get infected. If you're the hero, you probably get infected, but only at the end. One of us is good for another hour. The other two need to find some Russian dressing."
May: "Hunh?"
Becky: "Thousand Islands with ketchup. Good on boiled brains."
May and Jaime: [Gag.]
BEcky: "It's no worse than chopped liver."
May: "Are  you sure you're the girl who fished all the meat out of her hot pot because you were afraid some of it might be tripe?"
Becky: "Deli food is different."
May: "You hurt DL's feelings, you know."
Jaime: "Shenanigans! DL has no feelings."
[May was tired of this game. There were times when she did think of her Mom as the "Dragon Lady," but she'd seen her mother emotional, mainly over the doofus and Magilla Gorilla lately. So she changed the subject. And knocked the heads of three more zombies in as she did it. These things really weren't much challenge.] "So who is going to last out the hour?"
Rachel: "The cute, sweet one."
May: "Bra-ai-ains!"
Rachel: "Bra-ai-ains!"
Jaime: "You guys are both prettier than me. Look! The zombies are all over you!"
Rachel: "They'd be all over you, too, if we weren't covering you. You getting tired yet?"
Jaime: "At this rate? No. A .22 size blast through their eye socket and these things fold. I can keep that up for ....I hope we run out of zombies soon. Can you twist us out, Rachel?"
Becky: "To where?"
Jaime: "The 21st Century?"
Becky: "I can't do that!"
May: "Isn't half the point of your powers that you can travel through time?"
Becky: "I can travel through time exactly as far as you can travel through space without lifting either of your feet of the ground."
Jaime: "Doesn't your Mom travel through dimensions that way?"
Becky: "No. Well, sort of. She jumps off Aunt Miriam's time platform and twists on her way down."
May: "That's a very colourful analogy that doesn't make any sense."
Becky: "Whatev, girl. You didn't get to go to Babylon last week."
May: "OMG. You went to Babylon? What did you do? Did you get anything?"
Becky: "Ah, it was mostly so my brother could sign papers and stuff, and Carnival was going on in his neighbourhood, so we didn't get around much. But I got this jacket. I was saving it for school, but I'll show you guys..."
Jaime: "Uh, guys? Across the street-thing? On that building over there? That's my brother."
May: "Hey, you're right. Magilla Gorilla!"
Jaime: "I wish you wouldn't call him that."
May: "What? He moons over my sister and doesn't do anything about it except lurch and lurk, and ol'Super Doofus Jen is all, like 'oh, Brad, if only...."
Becky: "Isn't Magilla Gorilla the purple ape? What's that got to do with anything? Brad isn't purple. He isn't even smelly, any more."
May: "Because he's tall? Like a gorilla?"
Becky: "Are gorillas that tall, though? I thought they were more, you know, heavy-set."
May:"Well, he's heavy-set, too. Not nearly so much as he got to be, though. What Jenny saw in him by last year...."
Jaime: "Leave him alone! I know he's a little strange, but it's only been since the divorce!"
Becky: "Blame your parents? You gametics are all alike."
May: "Can you get us over to him, Becky? I'm tiring out here."
[It was true. Brad was both clean and lean when they spun out of 5 space on his side of the open, grassy space below the building-terrace level, the one crowded with zombies from side to side as far as the eye could see. He still blushed and avoided eye contact, though. Even Mrs. Crudup had her limits.]
Jaime: "Hey, bro'. Lost some more weight on the H. G. Wells Diet?"
Amazing Spleen [Brad Neilsen]: "Holy Sh... Girls! May! You better have your costumes with you!"
Becky: "Because we'd be doomed if the 31st Century or whatever this is learned our secret identities. Doomed, I say!" [But the girls put their costumes on, anyway. Brad was a senior member of the Liberty Legion.]
Brad: "That's not it, Tri-Del. We picked up a hitcher in the Old West."
Becky: "It's pronounced 'Trey-Del.' Like Dreidel."
May: "Because she's Jewish-Agamogenetic-Queer American. You see." [May had not forgotten the Harajuku crack. And then her brother Henry bounced onto the roof, dressed, for some reason, in one of her father's old costumes, and with his hair done up exactly the way it was in the old photos. Only after a second, May realised that she wasn't looking at her brother. This was her Father. Only he was 25 years old. And his hair....]

No comments:

Post a Comment